#my man is not a roadman

[strwbi-laces]

Canon remus to fanon remus: what is that fuckin accent?? “Bruv bruv” ya fuckin nob you live ten minutes up the road from me

[imsiriuslyreading]

What’s your favorite Remus-centric fic?

oh WHAT A QUESTION!!!!!

hiya!

Ok one thing about me, if you ask me to choose one, I'm gona choose 5.

so, in no particular order:

ATYD - i love this remus. everything from his code switching to his chain smoking.

The Cadence of Part Time Poets - this Remus means a lot to me, i identify with a lot of his more... colourful issues, shall we say.

Honey If Im Not - just beautiful vibes, healing, mature and a really lovely read. i love seeing Remus in his newly built life

A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety - I want this Remus in ways that shouldn't be legal

Like Real People Do - The represenation of Remus' health navigations in this are top tier

an extra one for good luck:

Ten Reasons To Go To Michigan - nervously optimistic, scared to commit but wants love terribly Remus? Its a big yes from me.

What are yours?!?!

[shoverse]

mm 🧐🧐

[r0ckstardr3amgal]

Ahem ahem, @hoodeddreams13 would you like to give roadman Tom a hug?

[leahsgf]

FUSSY EATER - leah williamson

leah williamson x child!reader | bubba masterlist

"come on bubba. can you try some broccoli for mumma?" leah cooed, desperately trying to slip the little plastic spoon past your lips which had of course remained glued shut in refusal.

you simply turned your head away in response, like you had done every single other time she had tried - settling for staring at beth and alessia from across the canteen, a much more interesting option in your opinion.

you were leah's mini, in every single way - and always had been, but the older you got the more this had began to show, mimicking everything she did from simply kicking a ball, to her signature frown, and even babbling certain words in that dreaded roadman accent that sometimes slipped out of the blonde's mouth for no apparent reason. even when you wouldn’t stop referring to everyone as ‘darlin’ for weeks on end, your want to be just like her was something that your mother adored beyond words, usually.

your recent thing however? she wasn't such a fan of.

you were finally at the stage where you could confidently eat solid foods and start having meals like leah, and she hadn't put any thought into just how fussy she herself was until she had you mirroring everything she did - including devouring absolutely anything that was beige and not giving anything else as much as a look.

which is what had landed you both in this situation, you sat in a highchair and leah sat across from you, spoon still loaded with the dreaded green stuff that you had yet to be convinced to try.

you were quite content with the bits of bread and plain pasta that were sat on your tray, and were suspicious of the piece of broccoli held in front of you, not knowing why you were being expected to try it when you had never seen your mumma eat it.

"come on sweetheart. if you try this little bit for me i'll get you some chocolate, yeah? just one little bit. i know you love chocolate"

"bribing the baby now are we williamson?" tooney cackled, walking past with her own food - not before snapping a picture of the sight before her to update her very amused followers, who had over time become invested in leah’s ‘dead’ meals.

“shut up man, she’s so stubborn i can’t! i have so much more respect for my mum now but surely even i wasn’t this bad”

“of course you were lee! you still are, are you forgetting that you called chicken slices ‘white ham’ until we were 23 cause you were convinced you hated chicken!” keira giggled, joining in on the conversation and lightly shoving her best friend as she slipped into the seat next to her.

“oi! not helping!” leah grumbled, the frown lines on her forehead that may as well be permanent only deepening as your refusal continued.

“maybe you should eat some and show her, she copies everything you do.” georgia chimed in this time, grinning as she already know what the answer would be.

“but i hate broccoli”

-

just a small little thing i’ve had in my drafts that makes so much sense in my head, bubba is 100% a picky eater like leah is

[famwhy]

Hobie Brown's Slang

Okay, here is a bit of criticism and advise for how to write Hobie Brown's (from Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse) speech patterns.

When I read fics on Hobie Brown, the slang that he uses is not AT ALL the type of slang he uses in the movie. Fics like to use stereotypical British slang like 'wanker' or 'gheezer' and while it is sometimes said, it's not used often by youth in the UK nowadays.

Instead, the type of slang he uses is called 'Road' slang or 'Roadman' slang. I believe it's a mixture of Jamaican and British terms (please do correct me if I'm wrong, I may be British myself but I don't know everything).

For example, in the movie, Hobie says 'man like Miles, my guy!' after Miles goes against the Canon event. He's basically hyping Miles up - the term 'man like' is often followed up by a name to (as said before) hype that person up and praise them, in a way.

Another example of him using road slang is when he calls Miles a 'youngen' - it's quite obvious what he means by it, he's basically calling him a kid. This term is usually used by people who are quite a bit older than the recipient. In fact, it was his use of this term that solidified my theory of him being quite a few years older than Miles and thus, of him not being as much of a potential love interest for Gwen as an older brother figure for her.

Now, how do you write road slang? By learning it through watching people who use it often and understanding the context.

Some real people you can watch and learn the speech patterns of Hobie Brown through include:

KSI (the youtuber)

Mo Gilligan (the comedian)

Babatunde Aléshé (also a comedian)

And a series on Netflix that I highly recommend you watch in order to really understand the way he talks (though the above examples are good ways too) is the series 'Top Boy'. Though, a fair warning that it's quite the violent series due to it being about UK gangs.

Please keep in mind that this post is NOT AT ALL made to attack writers or put them down for the way they write Hobie, it is only here to inform and teach you how to write his speech patterns properly because he 100% deserves the accurate representation.

Hobie Brown is an amazing character that made me so happy to see on screen because he actually seems like a guy I would know and be friends with in real life rather than a stereotypical depiction of a British person that you see often in media nowadays. I feel the same way about Pavitr and the way the movie didn't stereotypically depict South Asians.

To see both my ethnicity and nationality being accurately depicted in western media is just an amazing feeling that I wish to convey to you all.

Love, a very happy spiderman fan.

(Update: I now have a post where I write Hobie's speech patterns myself so you can also use that as an example if you wish. But again, the examples listed above are much better to learn from since my one post can only teach you so much.)

[teewritessmth]

#Instagram Au (28)

(Niko Omilana x f! reader)

Liked by chunkz, ohnosharky, behzingagram and 2,765,123 others

y/n.y/l/n Not yours but mine ~

view comments

y/nmypookiewookie SHE SHOWED EM'

y/nstarz Is this shade towards the girl that tried SO hard to flirt with Niko during betasquad's new video

--- y/n.y/l/n ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

chunkz imagine making a video on your channel after two months of hiatus and suddenly a gyal all up on you and then ur girlfriend posts picture of you two together

--- y/n.y/l/n who's girlfriend would do that bro 🤣🤣

--- teewritessmth replying cause ur too iconic

janialuvsbetasquad QUEEN SHIT

adeolapatrone POP OFF BABE

Liked by adeolapatrone, aitch, harrypinero and 1,876 342 others

y/n.y/l/n On my mandatory rewatch of old beta vids and HOW DID I IGNORE THIS LENG OF A MAN FOR SO LONG

view comments

niko I always liked u and u decided to ignore me like I am a normal boy

--- ajshabeel nothing special bout u @niko

--- kingkennytv vios in his girl's comment section as well?

--- y/n.y/l/n Ken u and I both know he never stops

yungfilly NAH I REMEMBER THAT YOU TRIED SO FUCKIN HARD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM

--- y/n.y/l/n WE DON'T NEED YOUR INPUT FILLY

ohnosharky I remember the days when Niko used to talk to her and she wouldn't reply cause she was too busy staring and admiring my boy

--- teewritessmth WHO WOULDN'T ADMIRE HIM

--- betasquads IFKR that man is wayy to good looking

--- betasquadx niko 😩🤤

--- teewritessmth average nia reply

Liked by miniminter, joshotusanya, jonnycarey and 786,008 others

y/n.y/l/n If I catch man at these ends yeah? LONG DAY.

view comments

niko roadman couple alert

--- y/n.y/l/n 😘😘

--- niko FINALLY YOU REPLIED TO MY COMMENT DIRECTLY

centralcee 😬🤧

johnnycarey now y'all gotta come and make a skit with me

ksi COLD

---vikstagram RIGHT?

niko lovestare from me at slide 3 goes crazy

--- ajshabeel idk how to tell u this but you ALWAYS look at her like this

--- kingkennytv finally an interaction between u man without violations

[wileys-russo]

Could you do a blurb of leah Williamson x reader like in the tiktok you posted with the Nike tech. Like bf leah but like even more than before.

tech fleece II l.williamson

"baby?" you heard your girlfriend let herself in as you sung out you were in the kitchen hearing her footsteps make their way toward you.

"hello gorgeous." soft hands grabbed your face from behind, tilting your head back so the blonde could lean over you to place a few sweet kisses on your lips, the last one lingering for a few moments before she pulled away.

"missed you today sexy." her hand smacked your bum with a wink and a sloppy kiss to your cheek before she backed away. "charming as ever darling." you sighed with a shake of your head, dropping the wooden spoon and spinning around. "oh leah." you bit down on your lip at the sight of her.

"what?" she frowned as you covered your mouth with your hand to stifle a laugh. "the matching tech fleece...babe." you shook your head disapprovingly with a snicker as her scowl deepened.

"what about it!" she repeated, now crossing her arms over her chest. "lets just say if i do this, theres a beautiful twenty six year old woman who i adore." you took a step back and held up your hand, squinting your eyes and using it to cover her body.

"but if i do this...there's a grubby fifteen year old chav blasting grime on the tube and spitting on the ground for no reason." you moved your hand up to cover her face and show off her body instead. "oo or maybe a roadman?"

"a chav or a roadman she says!" leah scoffed in offence as you dropped your hand and grinned. "better than a bin man?" you teased returning to the stove. "i've told you before you can wear a tech fleece hoodie, jacket or joggers separately, but never all together leah, never all together." you remanded, the blonde mocking you under her breath.

"its comfy! you're so nasty to me, its a god given wonder i put up with you." leah huffed, running a hand through her hair and pulling herself up to sit on the counter.

"oh how do you do it leah? laundry always done, house clean and tidy, home cooked meals on the table, cracking banter and fantastic sex. what a horrid life you have to live, my selfless brave hero." you pouted mockingly toward the older girl.

"yes its a real burden i shoulder for the good of my country." leah sighed, patting her chest where normally some sort of football crest would be sat making you roll your eyes at her antics.

"that smells...healthy." leah frowned suspiciously at the stir fry you were making. "you can unclench this is for me, there's chicken and smileys in the oven for you child." you chuckled nodding your head as her face lit up.

"oi i am not a child! i'm actually older by elven and a half months thank you very much." leah scoffed realizing your subtle dig. "you have the culinary pallet of a toddler and now you're dressing like a troubled teenage boy. child!" you pointed the wooden spoon at her accusingly.

"right i'm not putting up with this abuse any longer. i'm going to wipe all this crap off my face, which you have still not complimented! and then i will return and you better have worked on this pissy attitude young lady." leah warned sternly, pointing right back at you as she hopped down from the counter.

"you look beautiful babe, as always." you smiled, moving to hug her tightly and softly kiss her slightly tinted pink lips from the makeup she had on, having spent nearly the entire day out with media committments.

"just change out of this horrid tracksuit while you're up there yeah?" you now smacked her bum with a wink, backing off as she shook her head and strode out of the kitchen toward your shared bedroom.

"nasty little woman." "i will throw your smileys in the bin williamson!" "obviously i meant gorgeous gorgeous woman whom i love and adore!" "you are on thin ice roadman."

~

"what the hell took you so long?" you chuckled as almost an hour later your girlfriend returned downstairs, having been up in your bedroom the entire time doing god knows what. but she had wiped her makeup off and tied her long blonde hair up into a disheveled bun which sat atop her head.

you'd already long finished cooking, having dished up your dinner and left leahs to stay warm in the oven, sat on the sofa eating.

"i was using the toilet." the blonde shrugged, smacking your forehead with her hand as she passed by you and made a beeline for the kitchen. "for forty minutes?" you laughed at her answer, well knowing she'd have just sat on the bed doom scrolling the tiktok feed she claimed not to care about.

"why are you suddenly so interested in my bowel movements you creep?" leah retorted , hissing as she reached for her plate in the oven, touching it for a second before quickly re-thinking her action. "ugh i didn't mean it like that, i don't need to know a bloody thing about your bowel movements thanks mate." you grimaced in disgust, tuning back into the television.

"don't mate me i'm your missus." your head was shoved to the side by her hand as leah collapsed onto the sofa beside you, and you barely had time to lift your bowl up before her feet swung into your lap. "missus? someone's been hanging round katie too much." you teased, both of you quite close with her irish team mate.

"you didn't even change!" you realised, poking accusingly at her tech fleece joggers making her roll her eyes again. "i'm comfy! stop bullying me." the blonde huffed, darting forward to snatch the remove from where it rested on your thigh.

"leah!" you huffed as she switched stations, groaning as of course she'd put on the football, arsenal due to play in their next premier league match.

"i was watching big brother." you tried to grab it back off of her but she raised her arm, taller than you and easily holding it out of your reach as her eyes never left the screen.

"and? you can watch it on catch up tomorrow babe. my boys are playing." leah shrugged, leaving the remote to rest on the top of the sofa as you sent her a withering glare. "i don't want to watch the football." you groaned in frustration, though really you knew you weren't going to win this. your girlfriend bled north london through and through and there wasn't a chance she would miss this game for anything.

"didn't ask, don't care." leah spoke with a mouthful of food making your lip curl in disgust as you smacked her ankles which rested in your lap. "asshole." you grumbled, shoving her feet off you and standing to wash up your empty bowl.

"get me some more?" leah held out her half finished plate, eyes still glued to the tv. "pardon?" you questioned, raising an eyebrow. "get me some more please baby girl." leah flashed you a smile and wiggled her plate as you grabbed it with a roll of your eyes.

"thank you sweets." your girlfriend patted your bum with her spare hand as you gave her back the plate, shooting her a glare as you sat down. "what? you love it." leah grinned, swinging her feet back into your lap.

"babe didn't you just buy new socks?" you frowned at the holes in the bottom of them. "yeah and i'll wear them once these aren't good enough." leah shrugged. "these aren't good enough they're riddled with holes! get rid of them." you chuckled, whining and shoving her away as she moved her feet to teasingly rest on your face.

"leah!" you groaned as she swung her body around and collapsed herself on top of you. "honestly you are such a teenage boy sometimes. lia was right!" you scoffed, struggling to move her off of you as she went limp.

"hey! you know i hate it when the two of you gang up on me." leah pouted, rolling off of you. "then stop giving us a reason to." you rolled your eyes, smacking away her hands which poked and prodded at your face. "relax the face baby, relax the face." the blonde cooed mockingly, stretching your skin with her thumbs.

"you're one to talk! you've already got wrinkles from all that scowling and frowning." you hit back, causing her to scoff in offence and let go of you. "no you can't leave!" you stood to retreat to the bedroom, leah lunging to grab the back of your hoodie.

"i told you i don't want to watch the football leah." you sighed as she adjusted her position, sitting where you had been and pulling your body in between her legs.

"you always sit with me when the boys play, its bad luck if you aren't here baby." leah frowned somewhat adorably, forever superstitious as you sighed again this time in defeat. "let me at least go and get my book." you bargained, her grip on you loosening allowing you to dart to the bedroom and back.

"comfy love?" leah mumbled against your neck, peppering the skin with gentle kisses as your back settled against her front, nodding and propping your book against your knees, leah kissing your cheek a few times before her attention returned to the game.

"again? you are fucking jokin me!" leah later yelled at the tv with a loud groan as arsenal conceded and you couldn't help but chuckle at her passion. "you do know they can't hear you through the telly right baby?" you teased, head tilting back to look up at her in amusement.

"if i'm loud enough they might come on boys!" leah yelled again, thumping her head back against the sofa in frustration. "oh i can't watch this anymore." leah sighed, slender fingers wrapping around your wrists and tugging your hands to cover her face.

"so we can go to bed then?" "absolutely not, they could be on the come back." "leah, my love its 3-1 and there's ten minutes left, face it baby they've lost."

[yawnderu]

— 2023 masterlist 🪴 Compilation of most of my works written in 2023. Simon Riley Masterlist | Smut Masterlist | Bimbo!Reader Masterlist | Dad!Ghost Masterlist | Commissions Info

— Sex Pollen

Simon ''Ghost'' Riley

König

Nikto

Miguel O'Hara

Astarion

— Popular

ATSV/COD MWII Twitter AU Masterlist

Virgin!König

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Neighbor!Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader

— SIMON RILEY

Living heating pad🧸 Betrayer🌧️ Please, God🌧️🧸 Reader crying during sex🌧️🧸 You make it hard to be a ghost🧸 Longing🧸 Together🧸 I'll meet you there🧸 Idyllic🧸 Believer🧸 Birthday Boy🧸 Situationship with Ghost🌧️🧸 Situationships with Ghost Part II🌧️🧸 Salvatore🧸 Seasons don't fear the reaper🧸 Shooting Star🧸 Spellbound🧸 Happy Cake Day🧸 Roadman!Ghost 🧸 Roadman!Ghost Part II🧸 Living heating pad🧸 Betrayer🌧️ Please, God🌧️🧸 Reader crying during sex🌧️🧸 You make it hard to be a ghost🧸 Longing🧸 Together🧸 I'll meet you there🧸 Idyllic🧸 Believer🧸 Birthday Boy🧸 Situationship with Ghost🌧️🧸 Situationships with Ghost Part II🌧️🧸 Salvatore🧸 Seasons don't fear the reaper🧸 Shooting Star🧸 Spellbound🧸 Happy Cake Day🧸 Roadman!Ghost 🧸 Roadman!Ghost Part II🧸

Domestic life🧸 Awful Cooking🧸 Wedding🧸 Relaxing time🧸 Doesn't mean anything🌧️ Genesis🌧️ Afraid - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️ Tainted - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️ Living Dead Man - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️🧸 Savior - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️🧸 Doomed - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️ Unexpected pregnancy - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️🧸 Immortal She - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️ Love never leaves - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️🧸 Genesis - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader🌧️ Simon doesn't believe in love🌧️🧸

— NIKTO

Infatuation🧸

Situationship🌧️🧸

Mann Gegen Mann - Nikto x Reader🌧️

— KÖNIG

Nipple sucking

— KYLE GARRICK

Panda Hybrid!Reader

— KEEGAN P. RUSS

Pets

DBF!Keegan

Headcanons Part I

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Headcanons Part III

— JOHN MACTAVISH

Thermobaric flashbang 🧸

Goofing around with Soap🧸

— Ongoing Series

K-9 - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader

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Simon ''Ghost'' Riley - Character Study

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[saintsenara]

what are ur thoughts on all the young dudes man i gotta know

i've never read it, and i can't really see any situation in which i will. not only am i wolfstar-ambivalent, i'm also wizards-knowing-loads-about-muggle-pop-culture-ambivalent - so i'm very much not the target audience.

[although i'm not "what's going on in the 1970s"-ambivalent by any means, so there's that.]

but i suspect anyone who reads this blog regularly knew that - and so i also suspect [even though i wouldn't dare to assume this of you and your intentions in asking this, anon] that it might be presumed that i'm going to pop off about several of the phenomena all the young dudes has set into motion...

and sure, the contemporary marauders subfandom is not a space i'm interested in spending any time in - which is why i don't - but i think it's nonetheless worth saying something in defence of it.

all the young dudes deserves more credit than i think it gets in the fandom more widely - especially in those bits of the fandom which are more interested in canon compliance and canon coherence - for being a genuine pop-culture phenomenon. all corners of the fandom have benefitted from this - i guarantee that huge numbers of people who have returned to the harry potter fandom since 2020 have done so because they've read it [or, at the very least, heard of it], and i also guarantee that many of those people have gone on to make a home for themselves in spaces which seem to have very little in common with the marauders subfandom [such as canon-compliant jily or pro-snape spaces]. many of the things it does - especially the integration of muggle pop-culture into its worldbuilding - have clearly influenced how plenty of authors approach their own work, even if that work is otherwise removed from it in vibe. and its aesthetic is all over the non-fic aspects of fandom too - every "canon-compliant" moodboard or edit or playlist i've ever seen would fit well into the atyd universe. i think it doesn't hurt to acknowledge its influence - it doesn't mean that an author can't disagree with its approach.

[or: my view on all the young dudes is very similar to my view on taylor swift. i've never listened to a single one of her albums, i'm not sure i could name more than about five of her songs - and i don't think the five i can name are any good, i sometimes see flashes of the inter-swiftie discourse and it's like reading a text in a language i can only half speak - but i would be a fool to dismiss her broader pop-culture influence, including on musicians i do follow more closely, or the fact that the fandom which surrounds her is both sincerely interesting, not least from an anthropological perspective, and something in which people i like and respect participate.]

i also don't think the divisions between the marauders subfandom and other spaces are as clear-cut as is often made out. and i think that all the young dudes often gets used as a stick with which to beat this point - particularly because people in the marauders subfandom are frequently accused of not having read the books, and elevating atyd's interpretation of characters [especially sirius and remus] and events over the seven-book series.

that the subfandom elevates fanon and headcanon over canon is a legitimate point. but i think we should all get a fucking grip and recognise that this can disinterest us - or even annoy us - and still not be something any of us should think is that deep.

after all, like anyone, i've encountered people in fandom who write unrecognisable versions of characters, are completely resistant to the idea that their interpretation isn't correct, and believe that it's evidence of deep-seated prejudice to pair their faves with different people... and every single one is someone who believes that their approach is meticulously canon-compliant.

or - as the old adage goes - "people who live in glass subfandoms shouldn't throw stones at roadman remus".

[umi-adxhira]

𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 | 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘

𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐋

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: ᴡɪʟʟɪᴀᴍ ʀᴇx, ʜᴀʀʀɪꜱᴏɴ ɢʀᴀʏ, ʟɪᴀᴍ ᴇᴠᴀɴꜱ, ᴇʟʙᴇʀᴛ ɢʀᴇᴇᴛɪᴀ, ᴀʟꜰᴏɴꜱᴇ ꜱʏʟᴠᴀᴛɪᴄᴀ, ʀᴏɢᴇʀ ʙᴀʀᴇʟ, ᴊᴜᴅᴇ ᴊᴀᴢᴢᴀ, ᴇʟʟɪꜱ ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ, ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀ

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: I've always wanted to do this and they're English so yippee 😍. Some of these (most of these) are based on experience I had in my secondary school so yeah

𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊

#𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐄𝐗

Year 11

That kid that did the absolute bare minimum but somehow got decent grades

The Year 7s and 8s all had a crush on him, and it genuinely made him feel uncomfortable 💀

The teachers fucking love him idk what to say he's a good boy ig

The typa guy to adopt future roadmen Year 7s and hang with them during lunch to make them seem cool

#𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘

Year 11

The annoying-ass kid that would cheat off you in every test yet somehow got better grades than you

Flopped Year 9 and decided he needed to get his shit together (he did the same thing in Year 10 and 11 but git better grades)

Snaps random girls in different schools, especially ones that went to his friend's primary schools to piss them off

Would ask you if he can borrow a pen but never give it back

#𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒

Year 10

Got adopted by William in Year 7 but never became a roadman

He did all the non-exam based options for GCSE's (Music, Drama, PE, Art, Photography)

He was obnoxiously loud during class until one time he was alone, so he had no one to talk to, and a group of girls were being loud as fuck and he realised how annoying he was so he stopped

Joined Year 7 thinking Food Tech was gonna be sick, then ended up finding out that it's shit and anyone who did that for an option deserved to jump off a cliff

#𝐄𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐀

Year 10

Literally only hangs out with Alfonse in the library because he hates the outdoors (same)

Got all 9s in Year 9 and somehow is hoping for a 10 in Year 10 (no one told him a Grade 9 was the maximum)

Genuinely pissed during Covid so many people got high because the grade boundaries were low even though they bat shit dumb (his words not mine)

Stares daggers into the loud girls because they cannot shut up

#𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀

Year 11

Got 4s and 5s in Year 9 but somehow got 9s in Year 10

Hangs out with Elbert because he thinks he makes him cool, hanging out with an older person

School senior, doesn't contribute at all unless it's an opportunity to skip lesson (me)

Always got picked on to read in class because he reads well and fast so that the slow-ass people don't read

#𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐋

Year 10

Got good grades in the mock exams and flopped the real exams (blamed it on the grade boundaries) (same)

Always raises his hand to answer and gets pissed if he isn't picked on

Only good at Chemistry and Biology so he wants to do Triple Science in Year 11

Helps out in school holing for extra credit (he didn't realise this ain't the US so there's no such thing here)

#𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐙𝐙𝐀

(GOD I HAVE A LOT SO SAY ABOUT THIS MAN I CAN LITERALLY MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT HIM IF ALL WANT IT LEMMIE KNOW) (OMG I WANT TO MAKE A JUDE X READER SECONDARY SCHOOL POST AAAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS)

Year 11

Roadman

Sells vapes to Year 7s at a stupidly expensive price but since they're Year 7 they think this is the normal price

Only one in the group that got good grades and not ending up working in their dad's haircut shop

Talkes in class then when the teacher moves him he's like "Miss I wasn't even talking" 💀

#𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

Year 11

Everyone had a crush on him. Jude often tutors him in private and threatens to spread rumours about him if he ever told anyone

Did Art in Year 10 for funsies and Economics because he wanted that one teacher who is physically impossible to help you get a 9 (no one got a Grade 9 in his class) just to prove everyone wrong (he did)

Buys food for his friends if he finds out they don't eat during lunch because the lines are so fucking long

Probably in a long—term relationship with a girl (me) and everyone is jealous of them

#𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑

Year 11

Like William adopted the Year 7s but a significantly more amount (like half the damn school)

Everyone knows who he is. Every lunch time he goes to this one Year 9 girl who sits on the bench lonely and lets her do his hair

She's like his favourite child he buys her food so she doesn't feel lonely and stands up for her when the annoying popular kids talk to her (she gets uncomfortable)

He tutors her as well, even if she's good in class he does this because he wants her to be successful and have a good future (I love this sm)

©️umi-adxhira [17/09/2023]

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | @nightghoul381 , @serynhe , @kookie-my-little-sunshine , @cy-inky, @aquagirl1978 , @abundance-pathchooser, @lapis-da-lazuli , @ellisgivesmelife013 @surviving-off-ellis-crumbs, @yuan134

[starrylayle]

Hello starry ✨

What are some worst fandom takes you have seen?

What kind of fic would you write to "shithead Regulus Black" fest?

Most importantantly, what is going on in the greyhart universe right now???

Hey bat!! Sorry for the late reply I’ve been so busy lately. I'm literally so embarrassed it’s been over a month never gonna ask for asks again byeeee

Anywaysssss, u always ask the me the most self indulgent asks tho so thank u so much 🫡🫡

Worst Fandom Takes I've Seen:

Damn this is difficult. there are so many shit takes floating around hmmmm let's start with the easy ones.

Twinkification of sirius black. ranted about this on my blog already so i'll keep it short. it sucks. also fun fact, i used to be a total marauders fanon fan until the butchering of sirius' character (+ the rise of jegulus). So really, it was just sirius’ character assassination that made question fanon marauders. Remus fanonization hasn’t bothered me till quite recently lol.

That sirius and Remus are soulmates. Like they’re literally my otp,, but they’re not perfect for each other I’m sorry. They’re probably better with other people (Dni remadora stans tho). Buuuut, that’s part of the reason I like them so much!! Because they’re so shit for each other. People who say their soulmates often sugarcoat their relationship and get mad when ‘actual’ wolfstar depict them as ‘toxic’

Regulus was forced into being a death eater by friends and family. Bffr that boy had a Voldemort mood board. His parents were probably more concerned for him lmaoo

‘James Potter is the sun’. Babes that man was an arsehole 💅🏼💅🏼. If he’s the sun then that’s because he thinks so highly of himself not because he’s a sunshine loll

‘All the marauder’s characters must be white becoz poc didn’t exist in the seventies and our saviour jkr said so’ bffr 🙄🙄

‘Remus would bully james and sirius’ or ‘Remus was the smartest’ or ‘Remus was a roadman/skinhead’ or ‘Remus had abs’ or….

‘Blah blah *extreme terf rhetoric* blah blah

What kind of fic I would write for the ‘shit head regulus black fest’

Hmm idk. Can’t imagine writing about reggie. Well if this is specifically about reg being a shithead than maybe I’d write about all the awful things he’d said about sirius before sirius ran away or smth.

Greyhart shenanigans

Oh they’re going great. No lube no protection and all that. Mysteriously tho, every one of lockhart’s book seems to feature a hot buff werewolf character. Fans are starting to ship them and thus the omegaverse in the hp universe was born 😇

[jaeedraszaerysz]

JOHNNY, BAM, STEVE-O, CHRIS AND RYAN WITH A NORTHERN ENGLISH S/O

Notes: this might have some more teesside oriented aspects so I apologise and I try to keep it as neutral as possible while still writing decent shit ✨️

Warnings: swearing, injury (obv u fuckin dumbass), sexual references??

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

Will 100% dress up in a suit and take you to a fancy ass restaurant while working his shittiest English accent

Got confused as fuck when you started using any slang/roadman terms

Defos uses words wrong

Went round calling everyone wanker for a full day

Thought chav was a fucking food at first defos

LOVES HEARING U SPEAK

will listen to u chat for hours

MY DAYS HES OBSESSED

So let's say jackass came to England yea

And u went up north to visit ur mates and stuff yea

Wouldn't understand a fuckin thing u was on about if u were talking to your mates

Thought a parmo was a sex move and was GOBSMACKED

He defos went to a pub with u and the guys and they got the piss ripped of them by a bunch of sweaty geezas in their 50s 😭

Take him to any beach and you will 100% have to restrain him from jumping of the end of a pier into a bunch of rocks

Caught onto u saying innit so much and now says it unironically and the guys have a laugh taking the mick out of him

Poor sod

But he's devoted to you

Defos would make roadman and chav skits w u outside a maccies or a tesco extra

BAM MARGERA

Asking if u know every single British rockstar to ever exist

Was confused when u told him it was almost 5 hours from London to anywhere near ur gaff

Got scrapped by a bunch of year 7s outside a one stop if u took him to England

Takes the mick out of yu in a cute way

Copies ur words

DEFOS TOLD JOHNNY TO PACK IT IN ONCE AND U WERE FUCKING CREASING

Told him u met Janick Gers from iron maiden and had drinks wiv him in the pub one time and he almost diedddd.

You could defos persuade him to dress up in a Adidas traccy and run fru ur local shopping center screaming sweet Caroline and tripping over eachother

you took him to hmv?

Big mistake

He never wants to leave

Defos has all the badges and posters

Spent an hour minimum sat on the floor with you looking at the band t shirts

Would complain constantly about weather but would kiss you in the rain

Got stuck in a shitty kids swing at the park

CHRIS PONTIUS

Lives for your voice

Copies ur every word

If u took him to ur hometown he would cling onto your arm and NOT let go

Called someone a geezer at a local boots and got scrapped

Yano them rando tarzees kids make out of rope and stuff but their always like 50 meters of the ground?

He found one

Jumped off

Flew like a mufucken bird

BEANS ON TOAST

WHAT AN INVENTION

His mind was opened to the 4th dimension that day

Imagine he pulled a party boy stunt in the town center

GOT CALLED A NONCEWING BY A BUNCH OF CHAVS

Wore a tie everywhere u went while u were their

Says oh my days religiously now

Fails a stunt? Oh my days

Trips? Oh my days

Bam pulls a rocky on him? Oh my fucking days

LOVES YOU SM THO

His little English, tea drinking princess

STEVE-O

Steve-o lived in England for alot of his childhood, always on the move so he was a bit more calm than most

BUT CAUSE HE WAS FROM DOWN SOUTH AND YOU UP NORTH THAT DONET STOP HIM

makes fun of northern chavs and compares them

Says the North is like a diff country all together js on account of the people and the weather

Thinks ur footie teams r shite

Defos got kicked up the arse for that one

Meal deals man

His fave thing after you

Esp from tescos

LYNX AFTERSHAVE IS HIS THING OMFS

Understands some British slang but is still confused by majority of ur convoz with people from ur home town

TAKE HIM TO FLAMINGO LAND

INSTANT MAYHEM

Sold gimicky vapes to some year 8s and fucking pissed himself laughing when they realised

RYAN DUNN

Swears at everyone with "posh words"

Wanker, bell-end, twat, muppet, cunt.

Picked up the accent on the words too

Fucking fab tha

GOT APPROACHED BY A PROZZIE

was terrified

Defos asked where her teeth were and got chased off

Thinks corner shops in England r the best thing ever

Manjaros? The takeaway not the mountain?

LOVED IT

DONNER KEBAB ✨️💅

Has been chased by council estate grannies for shoving you into people's gardens

Sat with you at the top of those shitty rope climbing frames in the park and u had a legit romantic moment

SPOILER ALERT! bam got photos of u kissing up there

Yano them random tunnels under the main roads yea?

Went down them wiv u and u ended up in a field with him laying on your chest and looking at the stars

[kaaaaaaarf]

oh, it's what you do to me on ao3

series: the 6ix, or, there and back again

Wolfstar. 930 words. T. Hogwarts Era. Crack. Toronto Mans Remus.

Sirius is sitting in the front row next to Peter and James when Remus takes the stage. He still looks nervous as he picks up the guitar that was resting in the wings, experimentally strumming it and clearing his throat before blinking out at the audience. "Wagwan, fam. I know you expected me to rap or some ting, but I'm a lover mans—I wrote this song for my boy who I hope will one day be my shordy—my one and only Gryffindor baddie, Sirius Black." Wait, what? Or, there's a talent show and Remus has something he wants to say...

Uh....so this happened again? This is all the fault of this tiktok video. If you need more context, listen to Hey There Delilah by Plain White Tees.

Note: I once again want to stress that this is just silliness!!! If you want to know what a Toronto Mans is, think Drake or a Canadian rude boi/roadman. Toronto Mans slang is a multiethnical dialect used by a wide variety of people and is a linguistical result of the Canadian cultural mosaic.

[st-armand]

Hobie Brown & Anarchism: A Discussion Pt 2 (Race)

Authors Note: This is my dissertation for the discourse about Hobie’s politics being misrepresented as your friendly community radical leftist

Warnings: Political Ideologies, mentions of violence and oppression

Hobie’s politics are intertwined deeply with his race, as previously stated in my random headcanons post I talked about Hobie being a Jamaican Brit, he has a lot of great analysis on colonization and imperialism, living in a colonized state of New London

(Again I’ve headcanoned Hobie to live in Lenapehoking **New York/Brooklyn and the surrounding areas** that was recolonized by the British Government and renamed New London, I’ll say he was raised in Camden but he relocated to New London when his family decided to leave due to many poor people being displaced to the new settlement. He still exists in the 70s for the most part but sometimes I do set it in modern times, there are some books ill add that are after Hobie’s time period)

Hobie is in touch with his Caribbean roots, a roadman, but an islander at heart, his grandparents raised him very similarly to their own upbringing in Jamaica, he’s well versed in the liberative politics of the Caribbean, keeping track of coupes, falsely installed leaders, environmental activism, labor strikes and organizations, and queer liberation movements, he knows he’s unable to support their struggle physically but as Spiderman he’s vocal about the efforts of those overseas fighting against settler colonialism.

There are often times where there a diaspora groups who have movements in the colonial lands for their homelands, and those are instances where he can be present to fight, and protect.

Hobie is a dark skinned black man, he’s spent his life navigating colorism and antiblackness, whether you headcanon him as other, he still has existed in spaces where black men and women trans and cis have faced antiblackness, misogynoir and trans-misognynoir, from his family, himself and his community.

For many years he spent time witnessing these acts from people around him (Like how many of us know what family members to trust with our identities and politics because of how lax and unaware the adults we were raised with speak), I don’t see him as the person to spew hate, but he has had to unlearn constructs around colorism and his social political understanding of the world, first through lived experience, then through learned information, and then through community action—praxis.

I’d personally headcanon him as possibly genderqueer and asexual (like myself) due to how often he’s the receiving end of unwanted sexual attention, he enjoys sex, but sees it as an intimate act with people he needs to trust. Saying this he still had to navigate being queer in homophobic and transphobic in black spaces, (This is for all my black trans friends, white trans people please don’t use this as a reason to be anti-Black, this is a intracommunity conversation.)

He was lucky to have an expanse of siblings with varying gender expressions and sexuality so his home was a safe space, but he still wasn’t immune to facing this violence.

He goes hard for dark skinned black people, and black people who aren’t conventionally attractive, he knows he has privilege with his looks and how that bends people in his favor, but regardless of that Hobie wants people to KNOW him on a deep level, and isn’t shy about deep emotional connections and emotional maturity, he knows people intimately, in ways where people expose their inner most turmoil to him and he accepts them as they are, and asks before offering advice.

Considering his feelings on treating people with respect regardless of appearance this is best shown with the way he interacts with houseless people on the street, he doesn’t shirk away from the smell or their appearance, he is knowing and emphatic to the circumstances they’ve been forced into, he isn’t deterred by their delusions, hallucinations of breakdowns, and he is an expert at deescalate them when they’re having a mental health crisis. He doesn’t openly antagonize people (for the most part) but he kinda has this aquarian way of showing his authority through his intellectual capacity and cool demeanor, he does speak down to people who are treating people in a discriminating fashion, he’s very shady.

Like lets say he’s in a group of people and their spewing colorist remarks he’ll dramatically sigh and rub his temples and say shit like,

“Ya don’t really read do you?”

“C’me off it mate”

“Someone’s new ‘ere”

And if the person or conversation continues in that direction, he’ll openly state his opinions instead of making the tension palpable with his shade.

“Y’know ‘s quite simple innit? Dark skinned black people are the lowest on colonial racial pillers, dark skinned women navigate it the hardest, having to live in the confines of racialized ideas of beauty and attraction.”

If the person is open to learning he’ll continue to teach them in a nuanced fashion, taking his time to explain and highlight the histories and how they connect with modern social standards, but if they aren’t he just continues to be annoyed and exasperated, usually before that happens his group ushers them away, their space isn’t for people who want to debate the livelihood of other people.

As a taste of the romance and platonic parts,

Hobie finds all people attractive, he sees past their physical traits, and focuses on the content of their character, their morals, their personal goals and aspirations, that is where he finds beauty in people, sexually or romantically? As I stated before he has to know you before initiating a relationship like that, but he does recognize that there are beautiful people, he prefers to get into relationships with black people or non-black people of color only if they are willing to navigate antiblackness alongside him and for the safety of other black people, and don’t expect him to stay in a relationship with someone who’s family is racists or discriminatory especially if you don’t verbally set boundaries and hold the defensive.

He does have non conventional ideas of romance, but he gives and shows love in all kinds of way that it makes it worth feeling insecure in the basis of the relationship, I don’t believe that his consistency joke was meant to be understood as jumping between person to person, or manipulating you into a relationship with no future goal in mind, he doesn’t mind spending the rest of his life alone, especially taking into consideration his role as Spiderman, but he wants to have someone who will anchor him in the chaotic inconsistent world, that the roles they play in love are adaptable, a giver, a provider, a support system, a friend, a comrade he plays all those roles effortlessly and knows which you need and when. He isn’t devastated by moving on from someone he loves, he recognizes that people are in your life for a reason for a certain period of time, short term and long term, and he doesn’t fight the change when the tides of life are moving against him.

I got all yalls request imma reply so you know I see them, will work on them in the next few weeks since application deadlines are coming up <33

[artsninspo]

“RESENTMENT”

Summary: Jamie needs a favour from his ex-girlfriend while in a pinch. What follows is angst and a conversation governed by history and bittersweet memories.

Author's Note: Original angsty piece for Jamie and the reader.

Pairing: Jamie (Topboy) X Reader

TW: Mentions of miscarriage

Word Count: 1.5K

Being the missus of a roadman is a rewardless position. The lies and cheating aren't even the worst of it. You live under constant threat because of your connection to a man that isn’t even around that often. If the threat to your own person isn’t peril enough, the threat of losing the man you love to the violence of the roads is sure enough. It does something to you, and it isn't nice. It's like every argument, every issue, every boundary is thwarted because time is limited. Because you're haunted by the what if. What if tonight's the night he doesn't come home. It's even harder because this was never Jamie's future plan. He wanted to continue studying business - legitimately. He never wanted to carry weapons, sell drugs and take lives. But somehow the memory of the fun loving boy could no longer keep you. As he got deeper into the game, you found yourself drifting further and further away. Then sex was the only way you found yourselves connecting, everything else was arguments. When you ended things at first he laughed vowing to give you time. Then after two weeks of fortitude he grew resentful and started acting like a single man. It was the last straw and the final nail in your relationship's coffin.

You squint at the security monitor as you see Jamie outside, you check your phone to see five missed calls and roll your chair back. You lock your workstation and head out to the main entrance, your heels clicking against the tiled floor. Pulling your blazer closed you push open the office's side doors. Your brows ask him what he’s doing here before you even speak. His eyes scan your pencil skirt, blouse and blazer. He smirks in spite of his stress.

“I need you to look after Stefan, Aaron’s studying and I’m afraid Stef’s going down the wrong path.” he states and it's your turn to look him over. He’s visibly exhausted and by the swelling of his brow he’s been in some kind of altercation.

“For how long?”

“What do you have visitors coming by? Stef will cramp your style?” Jamie snaps being confrontational.

“I’ll need to pick him up from school won't I, and drop him off - I’ll need to make arrangements at work” you explain not opting to argue.

“Y/N?” he starts 

“Jamie, whatever it is, sort it out. I want no involvement” you sigh wishing things were different.

“I have a storage unit, where I kept the things of my parents I couldn't throw out. There's an old canvas bag in the large purple luggage. It has fifty bags. If anything happens to me take care of my brothers with that” his words cause overwhelm. You can feel your face grow hot and tears threaten to well. 

“Is there a key or something?” you swallow determined not to break.

“Code, it's your birthday - day, month, year” he reasons like it's supposed to mean something. Like it's supposed to mean as much as him leaving the life. You fill your lungs with a deep breath wondering when love  stopped being enough.

“Fifty bags is enough to start fresh” you mutter. “You could go abroad and finish your degree with all your experience and you would be so successful. You could keep your brothers safe on your own and live a good life without looking over your shoulder” You repeat the same plea that has fallen on deaf ears so many times before.

“I can’t run,” he responds again.

“So what are you going to do risk your life, hide your wealth, stress, fuck around and piss your brothers off for the rest of your life?” you ask.

“What are you gonna do? Keep pretending that you don't love me? Work long hours for modest pay. Date respectable lads that mum and dad approve of, but bore you half to death and repeat the monotony until you're old and grey?” he retorts.

“YN?” you hear and turn to see Ray, one of your colleagues in the doorway looking concerned. He’s something of a work husband. Older, maybe near forty, fit, handsome and charming but not in a sleazy way. “You alright?” he asks.

“She wouldn't be out here if she didn't know me or want to talk to me” Jamie says with cheek.

“I’m fine Ray” You nod, giving him a smile that is returned as he heads back in.

“Ten days, I need you to watch them for ten days” Jamie clarifies finally after too much irrelevant chatter.

“That's fine”

“Thank you” he says, strained.

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for them” you specify and Jamie swallows.

“Maybe you can save one of us,”  he nods, pulling on his hood as he walks back to his car. You have half the heart to follow him in to try to convince him there's better for him. You curse yourself as you step forward pulling your jacket closed to weather the wind as you make it to his car. You get in the passenger seat and Jamie's eyes are exhausted.

“You don't get to just come here and dump the possibility of you dying on me. You can't just leave me with the responsibility of your brothers” You snap and he shakes his head.

“You’re the only person I know that can do it properly and that Stef and Aaron love and respect” he snaps.

“Jamie” you whisper as your head and heart battle between leaving and trying to reason with him. “You would never let me go if I did what you're doing now” you reason and he sighs putting his head back against the seat in frustration. “You’re enough, we’re enough we have enough” you snap as the tears begin to stream down your cheeks. “Don't you think we deserve more than you leaving us. Especially Stef and Aaron they’ve already survived enough”

“Y/N I should have left when you asked me the first time. There’s no running now. I can’t run from it”

“Jamie, I was pregnant. I was pregnant and I lost the baby because of the stress. That day I went to the hospital for bad cramps. That's what they told me happened.” you sniffle and his eyes go to your stomach. He’s him again and not hard and detached. The emotions roll in fast. He nods looking straight ahead as tears well into his eyes. A few fall before he wipes them away.

“Why didn't you tell me?” he sniffles.

“I lost faith in you, in us … I wanted to be angry. I wanted an out” you whisper. “I knew if I told you, you’d be there for me and I’d be in it. But it wouldn't last. God forbid it happened again.” you confess as his tears subside. He looks you over with red eyes and resentment. We watch each other like strangers for what feels like minutes in silence, trying to make sense of the people in front of us - so far from who we once were.

“Maybe everyone is better off if I’m gone then” he mutters.

You look him over drawing in a deep breath, you'd beg if you believed it’d have some kind of impact.

“I’ll look after Stef and Aaron” you concede reaching to unlock his door.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about our baby” he apologises. You’ve already had your time to reconcile your loss and the reality of losing Jamie in your life as a friend, partner and eventual father of your children.

“Jamie, you know what I pray for?” you ask, turning back to him. He holds your gaze but doesn't respond, too raw with emotion to welcome more revelations. “I pray that in like sixty years I’m somewhere with other really old people and you're there” your voice cracks as tears well. “And you're fat, wrinkly, grey and balding” you pause trying to contain your emotions. “And you have kids and grandkids and you’re happy and you’ve had a full life” you break. When the tears have stopped clouding your vision you see Jamie’s broken too.

He resents you for leaving, for starting a life without him and not looking back, for dreaming of a future without him when he starts every day with regret the moment he opens his eyes and your side of the bed is empty. He’d never pray for sixty more years of life without you.

“I have to go,” he says finally. You force your heart to accept the absence. To accept the reality that this could be the last time you see him. You steel yourself against breaking and falling back into old patterns.

“Take care” you sigh.

“‘I love you,” he says, choosing truth over resentment. It's a hallmark of growth.

“I love you too Jamie” you respond, making him smile. It's been months since you've said those words.

You'll always love him.

_______________

PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO LIKE, COMMENT AND REBLOG. Let me know if you enjoyed this piece :)